Fatwa No. 24

Question:

I loved a young woman, spoke with her over the phone for a long period of time, and promised her marriage. I then left her without so much as a farewell. What is the ruling on this?

Answer:

Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn. To proceed:

The general rule is that wrong beginnings lead to wrong and painful endings. The Sharīʿah does not recognise any private relationship between a man and a woman who share neither the bond of marriage nor the bond of unmarriageability (maḥramiyyah).

Your prolonged telephone conversations with this young woman under the pretext of love — and your persistence in this and your codonation of it (istimrāʾuhu) — was a wrong beginning, and it bore fruit in this painful ending. Repent to Allah — Glorified and Exalted — for that.

Then repent to Him for the heart you broke by abandoning your proposal to her without any valid justification. It is as though you were toying with her emotions and feelings — and what you were doing was nothing more than a pastime, a pursuit of desires, and the reckless behaviour of heedless youth.

Yet no sin is too great to be overcome by repentance — for Allah Most High said”And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but then seeks the forgiveness of Allah will find Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (1)

Repent to Allah — Exalted and Majestic — and increase in righteous deeds, for good deeds wipe away evil ones. (2)

And Allah Most High knows best.

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Footnotes (Takhrīj):

(1) Sūrat al-Nisāʾ (4:110)

(2) A reference to Sūrat Hūd (11:114): “Indeed, good deeds wipe away evil deeds”