Fatwa No. 33 — p. 62

Question:

There was a man who used to call a young woman daily and deceive her. He confessed his love to her, swearing by Allah to the sincerity of his words and presenting himself as a mature and serious man — then suddenly he disappeared. Is this what manhood looks like?

She praises Allah, however, that no harm occurred — for she desires a legitimate Islamic marriage, and as is well known from a jurisprudential standpoint, marriage requires public announcement and declaration.

Answer:

Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn. To proceed:

I praise Allah — Exalted and Majestic — that this ordeal passed safely.

It is not appropriate for a righteous young woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to give free rein to conversation with a non-maḥram man (rajul ajnabī) — even if the conversation is about marriage or planning for it in the future. Rather, any such conversation must be within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf) and conducted under the supervision and knowledge of her family — so that they stand with her in the same trench, and serve as a support for her against her own Shayṭān and his.

Let this young woman draw her lesson and her admonition from what she endured during this ordeal.

As for this man and those like him — we say to them: Fear Allah regarding the women of the believers. Know that you have sons and daughters upon whom such wicked scheming may rebound, and whom the consequences of toying with hearts and emotions may overtake. Whoever desires marriage, let him knock on its lawful doors and enter houses through their proper entrances. (2) And whoever is merely playing — let him stop, for Allah is fully aware of what is concealed and nothing is hidden from Him. He is swift in punishment — so let every person beware for himself, for every soul is its own accountant.

And Allah Most High knows best.