Fatwa No. 45 — p. 74
Question:
Our honourable Shaykh — how are you? I hope you are always well. Please, Shaykh, issue us a ruling on this matter — may Allah honour you.
There is a young man and a young woman who are relatives. They met on the social media platform Facebook, got introduced to one another, and came to know each other.They speak with one another like brother and sister in Allah — with no distinction between them — and they do so with the knowledge of the young man’s mother and the young woman’s mother, as well as the young man’s sister and the young woman’s brother. All of these people are aware that they communicate with one another.
Furthermore, their conversations cover matters of this worldly life and of religion — and the conversation is visible to the brother and the mother, who may read and review it whenever they wish. Is this forbidden or permissible, our Shaykh? Give us a ruling — may Allah reward you with goodness.
Answer:
Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn. To proceed:
The Sharīʿah does not recognise any special private relationship between a man and a woman outside the framework of the marital bond or the bond of unmarriageability (maḥramiyyah). There is no objection to communication between the two sexes within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf) when a valid reason exists, provided that temptation (fitnah) and suspicious circumstances are absent.
As for a friendship developing in this manner — where formality and boundaries are lowered, and each opens his innermost self to the other in the manner of spouses or maḥārim — this is not appropriate.
It is true that the open forum in which they communicate represents a kind of safety valve — yet even a supervisor may at times look away, and Shayṭān has hidden pathways into the soul. And blessings be upon the one who said: “I have not left behind me any trial more harmful to men than women.” (1)
I find myself asking: if each of them is suitable for the other — why do they not proceed, under the care of their families, toward a formal engagement (khiṭbah)? Why not begin formalising this relationship through measured steps under the guardianship, hearing, and sight of their families?It should be known that engagement does not render permissible what is otherwise forbidden in the relationship between the two parties — it permits no more than mutual viewing at the outset so that each may gauge the suitability of the other, followed by conversation within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf) without seclusion (khalwah) or suspicious circumstances.
The Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) examined the issue of “Women and Communication via Social Media (Facebook and Twitter)” during its training session on contemporary jurisprudence regarding women outside the Muslim world, and arrived at the following resolution: (2)
“Women and Communication via Social Media (Facebook and Twitter):
— The Sharīʿah does not recognise any special status for a relationship between a man and a woman outside the framework of marriage or the bond of unmarriageability.
— There is no objection to communication between the two sexes within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf) when a valid reason exists and temptation and suspicion are absent. Communication must not be for the mere sake of idle chatter and passing time, but only where Islamically valid reasons exist.
— The governing criterion for a conversation to be considered ‘within proper bounds’ is that anything one would be ashamed of or would dislike others to discover constitutes an impermissible act (munkar) that must be avoided. This criterion applies with reference to people of honour and dignity (dhawū al-murūʾah) — for others may be shameless and see no wrong in such conduct.”
The Assembly also examined the broader issue of “Relations Between the Two Sexes” at its conference held in Montreal, Canada, under the title “Contemporary Issues of Youth Outside the Muslim World,” and resolved the following: (3)
“Regarding Relations Between the Two Sexes:
— It is not permissible to exchange romantic feelings between the two sexes prior to marriage — for it is a means to temptation and a pathway to falling into immorality (fāḥishah), particularly in our time when the authority of religion over the soul has weakened, morals have been corrupted, and virtuous values have declined. There is no objection, however, to speaking with a non-maḥram woman within proper bounds, without seclusion or suspicious circumstances, when a valid necessity or recognised need exists — whether religious or worldly.
— There is no objection to communication between the two sexes within proper bounds when a valid reason exists and suspicion is absent. It is recommended to involve one of the guardians (awliyāʾ) in the correspondence so as to remove any suspicion of seclusion. As for mere chatting and passing time — this is among the pathways to temptation and the steps of Shayṭān.”
We ask Allah to take hold of their forelocks and guide them toward what He loves and is pleased with, and to carry them toward the most praiseworthy of matters and the most beautiful in outcome.
And Allah Most High knows best.
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Footnotes (Takhrīj):
(1) Muttafaq ʿalayh — al-Bukhārī in Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, chapter “What Is to Be Avoided of Women and Their Temptation,” ḥadīth no. 5096; and Muslim in Kitāb al-Dhikr wa-l-Duʿāʾ, chapter “The Majority of the People of Paradise Are the Poor and the Majority of Its Inhabitants Are Women,” ḥadīth no. 2740 — on the authority of Usāmah ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with them both).
(2) Resolution of the Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) on women and communication via social media — issued during the training session on contemporary jurisprudence regarding women outside the Muslim world. Available at amjaonline.com.
(3) Resolution of the Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) on relations between the two sexes — issued at the AMJA conference held in Montreal, Canada, titled “Contemporary Issues of Youth Outside the Muslim World (Nawāzil al-Nāshiʾah Khārij Diyār al-Islām).” Available at amjaonline.com.
