Fatwa No. 50 — p. 84
Question:
There are websites on the internet that facilitate acquaintance between men and women for the purpose of marriage. Some are supervised by Islamic centres and governed by strict policies designed to prevent misconduct. To what extent is using such websites permissible, and what are the relevant Sharīʿah guidelines?
Answer:
Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn. To proceed:
Assisting unmarried men and women to marry and helping them attain chastity (ʿafāf) are among the forms of righteousness through which Allah has instructed His servants to worship Him. Allah Most High said in Sūrat al-Māʾidah, verse 2: (1)
“Cooperate in righteousness and piety, and do not cooperate in sin and transgression.”
It is reported in the two Ṣaḥīḥ collections that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Whoever is engaged in fulfilling his brother’s need, Allah will be engaged in fulfilling his need. Whoever relieves a Muslim of a hardship, Allah will relieve him of one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection.” (2)
It is also authentically reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Whoever walks with his brother to fulfil a need until it is accomplished — Allah will make his feet firm on the Day when feet slip.” (3)
Ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with them both) said: “There are three people I cannot adequately repay: a man who greets me first, a man who makes room for me in a gathering, and a man whose feet become dusty as he walks to meet me. As for the fourth — no one can repay him on my behalf except Allah: a man who faces a difficulty, spends the night considering to whom he should turn, and then deems me worthy of having it brought to me.” (4)
Accordingly — when this is carried out through trustworthy websites supervised by reliable and upright people who place matters in their proper context and do not transgress the limits of Allah — there is no objection to it. Indeed, it is among the good works through which communities are built and civilisations are established. Those who reside outside the Muslim world know the difficulty of social connection and the challenge of finding the righteous husband or righteous young woman whom those seeking marriage aspire to find.
The foremost responsibility of those who supervise such websites is to establish strict policies that prevent them from becoming an entry point for frivolous individuals and those whose hearts carry disease — people who frequent these websites merely for entertainment and to pass time, extracting information that enables them to engage in misconduct. The families of the prospective spouses must also have a role in the communication from an early stage. The suitors should not be given free rein for bilateral private communication (tanājī) and the exchange of emotions under the pretext of getting to know one another and gaining reassurance — for this is among the greatest pathways to corruption. Engagement — even after it has been formally concluded and the families are aware of it — is nothing more than a promise of marriage. It establishes none of the rights of the marital bond, carries no financial obligations, and renders nothing permissible that was otherwise forbidden in the relationship between the two parties. Each of the prospective spouses may look at the other’s face and hands and speak with the other within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf), without seclusion (khalwah) — and looking does not require the prospective bride’s permission or knowledge.
Perhaps among what inspires confidence in such websites is the public announcement that they have a Sharīʿah supervisory board (hayʾat riqābah sharʿiyyah) overseeing the compliance of their procedures with Islamic law and the soundness of their policies — continuously reviewing the standards and safeguards they adopt, and examining complaints submitted in cases of violation. This establishes trust in the websites and reassures users that their private information, honour (aʿrāḍ), and personal boundaries will be protected.
As for websites that lack such safeguards — which give free rein to direct communication between the two parties without oversight or concern for religious propriety or customary decorum — one should not frequent them, nor adopt them as a pathway to establishing a stable family life. Taking the first step toward forming a family is not a trivial matter.
Marriage does not mean merely a bond between a man and a woman — it is a bond between two extended families, two cultures, and two systems of values and traditions. Relying solely on direct communication through such a method — quite apart from the fact that it constitutes one of the pathways to corruption and one of Shayṭān’s steps — does not, even when the purpose is assumed to be chaste and the intentions sound, provide sufficient opportunity for the two parties to truly know one another. It also often leads each party to overlook and excuse the other’s faults in order to preserve the relationship and progress toward a meeting and then marriage. This approach is therefore not recommended.
Rather, one who seeks chastity should first seek a means of direct introduction through family, acquaintances, and friends. If that proves impossible, then one may turn to trustworthy websites with a sound record and good reputation, verified by reliable and upright people.
The Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) issued the following resolution during its session on contemporary issues affecting Muslim women outside the Muslim world: (5)
“Women and Online Marriage-Matching Platforms:
— There is no objection to using trustworthy websites that collect information about men and women seeking marriage for the purpose of facilitating matching between them — provided that strict guidelines concerning confidentiality and security are observed, and that the pathways to temptation (fitnah) and the steps of Shayṭān are blocked. It is recommended that such websites have Sharīʿah supervisory bodies overseeing the soundness of their procedures.
— As for the practice of some Islamic institutions of gathering a large number of men and women seeking marriage — together with their parents — in a large hall, and allowing each participant to speak for several minutes with more than one prospective spouse: this should be preceded by diligent efforts to facilitate compatibility on an individual level between those seeking marriage, prior to such general gatherings. This may be done through written surveys and by arranging individual meetings between each pair of prospective spouses — so as to safeguard propriety, preserve dignity, and minimise gender mixing (ikhtilāṭ) as far as possible. Such general gatherings should therefore only be resorted to as an exception, when individual arrangements are unable to fulfil the need. It is preferable for a woman who is already known to a prospective suitor and whose door has been approached with a proposal to exercise scrupulous caution (tawarruʿ) and refrain from participating in such gatherings.”
And Allah Most High knows best.
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Footnotes (Takhrīj):
(1) Sūrat al-Māʾidah (5:2)
(2) Muttafaq ʿalayh — al-Bukhārī in Kitāb al-Maẓālim wa-l-Ghaṣb, chapter “A Muslim Does Not Wrong Another Muslim Nor Does He Abandon Him,” ḥadīth no. 2442; and Muslim in Kitāb al-Birr wa-l-Ṣilah wa-l-Ādāb, chapter “The Prohibition of Injustice,” ḥadīth no. 2580 — on the authority of Ibn ʿUmar (may Allah be pleased with them both).
(3) Recorded by al-Ṭabarānī in al-Muʿjam al-Kabīr (12/453), ḥadīth no. 13646 — on the authority of Ibn ʿUmar (may Allah be pleased with them both). Al-Haythamī cited it in Majmaʿ al-Zawāʾid (8/191) and said: “It was recorded by al-Ṭabarānī in his three collections, and in its chain is Miskīn ibn Sirāj, who is weak (ḍaʿīf).”
(4) Recorded by al-Dīnawarī in al-Majālisah wa-Jawāhir al-ʿIlm (1/116), ḥadīth no. 681 — attributed to Ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with them both). It is a statement of Ibn ʿAbbās, not a Prophetic ḥadīth.
(5) Resolution of the Assembly of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA) on women and online marriage-matching platforms — issued during the AMJA session on contemporary issues affecting Muslim women outside the Muslim world. Available at amjaonline.com.
