Fatwa No. 39 — p. 68

Question:

Is it permissible for me to meet the woman I wish to marry before the formal engagement, for the purpose of getting to know her?

Answer:

Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn. To proceed:

I commend your eagerness to ask and seek what is right. I say to you, my son: this is not permissible except in the presence of one of her maḥārim — so enter houses through their proper doors. (1)

Know that whoever hastens a matter before its proper time will be punished by being deprived of it. (2) Restrain yourself with patience upon the command of Allah, and ask about her from those who know her — from her family or her neighbours. Then knock on the door of her family as a visitor or as a formal suitor.

Know that engagement does not render permissible what is otherwise forbidden in the relationship between the two parties. The suitor has the right to look at his prospective bride’s face and hands, and to converse with her within proper bounds (bi-l-maʿrūf) — without seclusion (khalwah) and without being alone with her.

Do not touch her before the marriage contract is concluded — and be patient, for whatever is destined to come is near.

And Allah Most High knows best.