Question:
Our honourable Shaykh, I hope you could clarify the meaning of love for the sake of Allah (al-ḥubb fī Allāh) between spouses.
Answer:
Al-ḥamdu lillāhi rabb al-ʿālamīn.
Love for the sake of Allah means that you love a person in proportion to their obedience to Allah, reverence for His rituals , and uprightness upon His Sharīʿah. Among its distinguishing signs is that it does not increase through affection nor decrease through coldness — rather, it increases the more the beloved is devoted and obedient to Allah , and it decreases in proportion to any neglect in their devotion to Allah or any regression in their religious devotion and steadfastness
There is nothing to prevent both innate instinctive love (al-ḥubb al-jabillī al-gharīzī) and love for the sake of Allah from coexisting. You may love your wife because she suits your nature, because she embodies the human ideal you had envisioned in terms of character (khuluq) and physical form (khalq) when you contemplated marriage, because the sight of her brings you joy, because she obeys you when you direct her, and because she excels in her role as a wife — so that both innate love and intentional love converge within you .
This is from the perspective of the one who loves. As for the one who is loved: when she performs her role as a devoted wife with a sound and sincere intention (niyyah ṣāliḥah), this further nurtures the innate love — and because she is simultaneously fulfilling a religious obligation (taklīf), her conduct becomes a form of love for the sake of Allah as well.Thus both innate love and intentional love converge together .
Love for the sake of Allah is among the most steadfast bonds in whose shade the believers find shelter. It is a bond that produces in the soul the sweetness of faith (ḥalāwat al-īmān), as the Prophet (ﷺ) said: ‘There are three qualities — whoever possesses them will find through them the sweetness of faith: that Allah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than all else; that he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah; and that he would hate to return to unbelief after Allah has rescued him from it, just as he would hate to be cast into the fire.’ (1)
There is no doubt that the experiencing this sweetness strengthens the bond between believers — all the more so when the bond of marriage is added to it, a bond which the Noble Quran describes as the solemn covenant (al-mīthāq al-ghalīẓ) (al-Nisāʾ 4:21).
Spouses can indeed love each other for the sake of Allah and nurture this love by observing the following:
- Earnest supplication to Allah — beseeching Him to cast love and right guidance between their hearts, and persisting in this supplication — for Allah is the Sovereign of all dominion, and the hearts of His servants are between two of His fingers. (2)
- Pursuing the Islamic and natural means that generate love and harmony between them such as excellence in the marital conduct , a cheerful countenance, and gentleness in companionship. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A kind word is an act of charity.’ (3) ‘Your smiling in the face of your brother is an act of charity.’ (4)
- Uprightness upon the command of Allah — for this is among the greatest generators of love and cohesion in the marital life.
I ask Allah — Exalted and Majestic — to bless you both, to pour His blessings upon you, and to unite you in goodness.
And Allah Most High knows best.
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Footnotes :
(1) a greed up on — al-Bukhārī no. 16; Muslim no. 43 — on the authority of Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him).
(2) Muslim, Kitāb al-Qadar no. 2654, on the authority of ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAmr ibn al-ʿĀṣ (may Allah be pleased with them both).
But (3) a greed up on — al-Bukhārī no. 6021; Muslim no. 1005 — on the authority of Abū Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him).
(4) Al-Tirmidhī no. 1956 — graded ḥasan gharīb. Authenticated by al-Albānī in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ no. 2908.
